Enlightenment

"Before we make any decisions, what would you say we have learned about survival on this planet?" The Great Ozak pointed first at the pictures on the wall, then at Ogin to answer.

"The dino-things died out because they were too big," Ogin said.

"No, they didn't," I objected.

Ogin glared at me. "When the cold came, the plants died out and couldn't sustain their huge bodies."

"They died out because they didn't have fur," I said. "That's what's common among the next bunch. The mammoths had it, and see, men wanted it so they stole it." I wrinkled my nose at the little creatures wearing borrowed hair, when they already had plenty of their own.

"Yes, yes," the Great Ozak said. "We can say it was both a decrease in size and fur that helped the next inhabitants to survive."

"Men were smallest, so they survived longest," Ogin drove his point home.

"Not compared to the dinosaurs," I said. "They were on the earth for billions of years. Men weren't alive long at all, comparatively."

"Well, they would have been," Ogin amended, "if they hadn't blown themselves up." He smirked.

"Right," the Great Ozak said. "So size doesn't necessarily correspond to survival.  Now, if we're going to go in there and put the planet back on track, which species would you choose to become?"

Ogin and I grumbled.

"It's on the edge of another ice age," the Great Ozak prompted.

"Right, so nothing too big... and nothing too small, either," Ogin muttered.

"What form did our last Bandaid take?" I asked.

"Mammoths," the Great Ozak said. "But they ought to have chosen a man-predator, wouldn't you agree?"

"If there are really no men left..." I hedged, then sighed. None of the options sat right. "I wish I knew what else lived there."

"Yes, well, all records burned in the incineration," the Great Ozak said. "All we have are glimpses from when the Planetary Recycling Board took snapshots of the action.  We honestly expected them to go farther than they did.  Even stabilized the sun for them." He shook his head. "Which brings us back to our predicament."

I squinted at the pictures, trying to make out the lumpy details. "Wait, what is that? In every picture there's the same bump. Is that an eye?"

The Great Ozak broke out into a wide smile. "Very good, very good. Those, in fact, are turtles. I wondered if you would notice those. You have nothing to fear from radioactive turtles. As you can see, they have stood the test of time and remained the same through all the ages."

I rolled my eyes. "Then it's obvious. I want to be a..."

At the same moment I said "turtle", Ogin burst out with "mammoth."

"What?" I gaped at Ogin. "Why mammoths again?"

"They're in the middle," he said.

"But the Great Ozak said they didn't last long at all."

"Only because men killed them for their fur. All the men are dead, now. I'm going mammoth."

"No way," I shook my head. "Turtle."

"Very well, we'll go with mammoth turtles," the Great Ozak chortled. "Let's get you outfitted and on your way. This time, we'll show the Planetary Recycling Board what true enlightenment is."

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This is a very random story which came from a discussion on mammoths and evolution at our dinner table.  I really think mammoths ought to have stuck it out longer, because aren't they the coolest animals?  On the other hand, we have a turtle, and I'm always surprised while watching her eat how stubborn and tenacious she is with that beak.  And how wise.  Too bad the mammoths and turtles couldn't have figured things out, somehow... but I guess that's for the future.  What animal would you choose?

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